We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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