You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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