she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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