he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
40s are totally the cure
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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