He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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