If i come over, it means nothing
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
