if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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