on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's always time for handjobs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
