I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
NoShamevember. You game?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
