i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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