I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
