Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
