There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
