Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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