idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
