hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
