dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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