I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
