I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
