I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
and she was petting her beer can
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
