There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
