Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We have so much sex to catch up on
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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