Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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