does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
