Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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