I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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