You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize