I cockslap morals
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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