Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
