I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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