There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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