dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i barfeds in our rink
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
