I'm jealous of your bromance
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
