could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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