You smell like stripper and shame
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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