i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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