She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
