but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
