a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
