what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
