quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
