wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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