is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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