So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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