I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
