No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize