I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
