he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize