I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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