Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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