Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
