im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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