I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
