worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
