Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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