Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
