So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
pray to the hookup gods
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
