i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
