Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
