My sheets look like a crime scene.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
