you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She said her name was "party"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
