Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
