Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
