8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
