someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
