sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize