there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
