I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
